Jurassic Moa Rebirth
So, I found out about the moa de-extinction project right after I saw the new Jurassic World movie and now they're more or less the same thing
Well, I finally dragged myself along to see one of my most anticipated films of the year this week: Jurassic World Rebirth, a film set on a secluded island of genetic defects brought to you by Dr Moreau in association with Sid’s bedroom full of fucked up toys from the first Toy Story film.
And then I walked out to the real world, turned on my phone, and saw a news article about Sir Peter Jackson footing the bill for an attempt to bring back the southern giant moa from extinction.
Wait. Am I still watching the movie?!
Actually, hang on. Jurassic World Rebirth. Jurassic World: Rebirth. Is there a colon or no? There is one on IMDB but not anywhere else on the internet and it feels like there should be one, right? The cinema I went to unhelpfully called it Jurassic World 4 on my ticket stub.
Spoilers ahead, obviously.
Jurassic World: Rebirth is almost exactly what you’ve read that it is online: while it certainly doesn’t deserve a rotten rating at RottenTomatoes, the reviews run the gamut from ‘a cinematic abortion’ (The Critical Drinker with yet another not at all hyperbolic take that is not at all awful to listen to) to ‘the best film in the series since the original’ (Tim Robey, The Telegraph).
Jurassic World: Rebirth is both things at once. Okay, I don’t think it’s a cinematic abortion - it isn’t anywhere near that bad - but it is treading the same ground as all of the other sequels to 1993’s Jurassic Park: for some reason, otherwise intelligent people end up stranded on an island full of dangerous dinosaurs, and are subsequently chased off said island by said dinosaurs.
It might feel like reheated leftovers from every other film in the franchise, but it’s the Thai green curry or butter chicken kind, the sometimes-they-actually-taste-better-a-day-later kind of reheated leftovers.
The thing is that, at the other end of the spectrum, it surely is the second best film in the series, behind only the original 1993 hit. Though that is more a statement on the low quality of the other sequels and lofty expectations each faced than the high quality of Rebirth.
Rebirth does a lot of things really well. The story - a pharma company needs blood samples from three giant creatures to finish their new heart disease medication, and hires a mercenary and a researcher as phlebotomists - is serviceable, and director Gareth Edwards (2014’s Godzilla) is happy to let the characters simmer at times, utilising the chemistry between leads Scarlett Johansson, Jonathon Bailey and Mahershala Ali, and giving them a few moments to build character. Johansson and Bailey are especially good, the chemistry between the two sizzling as they carry the film for long stretches.
It also helps to have a pensive script from David Koepp, screenwriter on the first two Jurassic Park movies. It actually feels like this should’ve been named Jurassic Park: Rebirth, but I understand the need for consistent branding.
That main plot switches back and forth with a Dad yachting across the Atlantic with his two daughters, and his oldest daughters’ lazy boyfriend, who find themselves capsized by a mosasaur and subsequently rescued by Johansson and co. The group splits in two shortly afterward and my boy Dan Slevin said it perfectly: “I really liked these characters (played by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Luna Blaise, David Iacono and Audrina Miranda) and their adventures after they become separated from the main characters were lots of fun.”
In hindsight, its clear that their parallel journey across the island served the purpose of keeping the adrenaline up while Johansson and Bailey take care of their phlebotomy mission. It turns out to be the best part of the second act of the film as they encounter raptors during a toilet break, a dilophosaurus (they still exist!) and a sleepy t-rex while on a river cruise.
It’s weird to think of the t-rex as a cameo, but it is.
The third act descends into a chase scene, as these films always do, but for the first time ever it isn’t raptors doing the chasing, rather some mutant pterano-raptor or something. And the big bad, the so-called disastro-rex, causes a bit of havoc, even though it looks like a cross between the Cloverfield monster and a beluga whale, and it isn’t clear how big it is.
But its a Jurassic Park/World movie. It’d be weird if the third act didn’t descend into CGI madness and if the film didn’t end with a tender version of the Jurassic Park theme as the characters smile at each other in sheer relief.
As much as I enjoyed Rebirth, if I’m being honest, I do think there is a version of a Jurassic Park or Jurassic World sequel that I would like to see even more. And they’ve planted seeds of this idea throughout the franchise, but never really gone all in on where it would lead.
In 1993’s Jurassic Park, Alan Grant says “Dinosaurs and man, two species separated by 65 million years of evolution have just been suddenly thrown back into the mix together.” In 1997’s The Lost World: Jurassic Park, we catch a glimpse as one of the t-rexes ends up wandering the streets of San Diego (which of course, in German, means a ‘whales vagina’) and blowing up a gas station.
Fast forward to 2018, after finding themselves on an island full of dangerous dinosaurs, and are subsequently chased off said island by said dinosaurs, the final act of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom focuses entirely on the main characters releasing dinosaurs into the wilds of North America - a plot point that was so important, Jeff Goldblum was brought in for a cameo just to say “Humans and dinosaurs are now gonna be force to coexist. These creatures were here before us. And if we're not careful, they're gonna be here after.”
But aside from a few shots in 2022’s Jurassic World: Dominion’s first act, we don’t see what this does to humanity, how humans manage to co-exist with these prehistoric creatures. Sure, there are dinosaurs with mind-control, and a brachiosaurus trapped in a logging mill, and giant locusts of course, but its fleeting before it gets down to the important business of the main characters finding themselves on an island in an elaborate and secluded wild-life reserve full of dangerous dinosaurs, before being subsequently chased off said island elaborate and secluded wild-life reserve by said dinosaurs.
One of my favourite details in Jurassic World: Rebirth comes in the opening minutes: pharmaceutical rep Krebs (played by Rupert Friend) is on his way to recruit Zora (Johansson) to lead the phlebotomy mission, but finds himself waylaid by a brachiosaurus that has escaped the Brooklyn Zoo and is holding up traffic near the Williamsburg Bridge.
(He also passes a school bus labelled ‘Crichton Middle School’, but I digress.)
Why couldn’t we have more of this kind of thing in a future sequel? Am I crazy or is the idea of dinosaurs interrupting every day human life actually more interesting than people going to an island for some convoluted reason and encountering dinosaurs in relative isolation?
EXT. ALLEY - EVENING
CUT TO:
EXT. ALLEY CLOSE-UP - EVENING
A door opens into a dirty alleyway and KITCHEN WORKER 1, covered in the grime of a days work, emerges holding a bag of garbage and heads toward a couple of old fashioned metal rubbish bins only to find four house-cat sized COMPSOGNATHUS are digging around in the bins.KITCHEN WORKER 1
(swinging their free arm)
Get the hell out of here. God damn it.The COMPSOGNATHUS scatter out of the alley. KITCHEN WORKER 1 heads toward the mess.
OFF SCREEN
[growl]KITCHEN WORKER 1 looks up, alarmed.
KITCHEN WORKER 1
Who’s there? Show yourself!OFF SCREEN
[growl]KITCHEN WORKER 1
Come out, I mean it!Another growl sounds and a DILOPHOSAURUS stands up behind the bins; it is skinny and the same height as KITCHEN WORKER 1.
KITCHEN WORKER 1
(backing toward door, panicking, fumbling in pocket)
Shit!DILOPHOSAURUS
(neck frills extend)
[roar]KITCHEN WORKER 1
(pulls a GUN from their pocket)
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!KITCHEN WORKER 1 aims the gun into the air and fires, scaring the DILOPHOSAURUS which runs out of the alleyway. As it passes, a claw clips the garbage bag and rubbish tumbles onto the ground.
KITCHEN WORKER 1
(yelling)
FUUUUUUUUU-Door opens and KITCHEN WORKER 2, this one wearing a chef hat, looks out and starts to laugh upon seeing the scene outside.
KITCHEN WORKER 2
(still laughing)
What the hell happened out here?KITCHEN WORKER 1
Fucking dilos, man. It happened again.
(I’m available to script, if needed.)
The point I’m trying to make is that this is vastly more interesting than what Jurassic Park and Jurassic World have been doing for now six sequels.
And I think this is what we find fascinating about stories like the southern giant moa de-extinction project. Its not the idea of a “genetically engineered emu” (as University of Otago’s Dr Nic Rawlence called it) that we can go and look at in the zoo. Its the idea that we might encounter this creature in the wild that captures our imaginations. It’s the chance for our world to return to what it once was, even if just in this one small way.
Last time I was in Australia, I saw a white ibis for the first time; I was surprised and entertained to see one - referred to in Australia as a “bin chicken” - digging around in someones rubbish, partly because of its size.
Imagine a southern giant moa digging around in the rubbish here, using their beak to flip open the wheelie bin, it’s long neck extending inside to scavenge for food, banging the sides of the bin when they inevitably panic as we try to shoo it.
Imagine a small herd of moa roosting under the band rotunda at Hagley Park, drinking from the Avon River and chasing away tourists in the botanical gardens. Imagine one absent-mindedly wandering into the Octagon, knocking over chairs and tables outside CBK in its haste to escape. Imagine looking out over the Makarora River mouth at the northern end of Lake Wanaka, and seeing a dozen moa run through a field on the opposite shore.
Professor Philip Seddon from the University Of Otago doesn’t like the chances.
“Any end result will not, cannot be, a moa - a unique treasure created through millenia of adaptation and change,” he told RNZ.
“Moa are extinct. Genetic tinkering with the fundamental features of a different life force will not bring moa back.”
Regardless, my hope is that we don’t lock them behind perspex windows at Auckland Zoo and ferry tourists past them all day, and that we don’t just create an island a reserve full of moa where people are subsequently chased off said island reserve by said moa. Real or not, let them live free.
Thanks for reading, everyone. I may have gotten a bit carried away.
See you soon for My Week In Music.
Chris xo
I've gotta disagree, dawg. I find when we are on a remote island, I can suspend my disbelief enough to go along with this alternate world where dinosaurs have been brought back to life. I feel immersed enough in this world that it feels real for 2 hours. As soon as t-rexes are on the mainland laying waste to New York City or whatever, it starts to feel silly. My thing is this: the success of the first film (and subsequently, the first Jurassic World) is the wonder and awe it builds in the viewer. The best scene in all of cinema is when Dr Ellie Satner first sees the dinosaurs in the jeep and wordlessly tries to get Dr Ian Grant's attention. The cinematography is beautiful, it's incredibly acted, and the music swells at just the right time. Jurassic World almost succeeded at bringing back this vibe, only to subsequently ruin it with Fallen Kingdom, which was just an action movie. A fun action movie, but crucially forgetting that the best Jurassic films are more than just action - they instill in us that sense of wonder AND pose philosophical questions that we're forced to reckon with. All that said, this latest one is mid-tier for me. Better than Jurassic Park 3 and Fallen Kingdom, but the mutant dinosaur felt more like a monster movie alien than a dinosaur. I feel like I'm rambling, am I rambling?
Nice work. I kind of liked how the North American humans were pretty much over all these ageing dinosaurs. They just didn't care. Felt pretty realistic to me.